Influences in my indecisiveness

The person that influenced me in journalism so far is my reporting partner and friend Francis Hweshe at the Cape Argus. The first story we went out on together was about a Zimbabwean child who had died due to malnutrition in a rural town outside Cape Town. Being forced to place yourself in the shoes of these suffering people changed my perspective of living completely. To be a journalist is to expeience the lives of other people and to tell the world about it, but sometimes these experiences leave a mark that wound you as a person. Francis had so much ardour and commited himself entirelt to every story. The week we spent together had a great influence in me wanting to be a journalist, but i dont think I am 'hard' enough of a person to deal with the daily challenges. Fine if I overcome this NOT tough enough aspect of journalism I still dnt totally think it is for me. The influences that caused me to doubt journalism as a career was that of other journalists I have come across in the newsroom. They had no motivation for what they did other than the editor down their throat for deadline - to them writing a story was just a job that paid the rent. I really dont want to end up like that... this is why I still question journalism as a caeer - well actually why I still sit and question most things in my life.